Power Within Your Marriage

"Who wears the pants in your family?" Often we hear or ask this question ourselves. Sometimes it is asked as a joke and other times it isn't. I don't know about you, but my husband and I both wear pants. It would be weird if one of us didn't. The same goes with our marriage. We both have a say. We believe in equality in a marriage because this is what the Lord has taught us. A man and wife are equal partners. One doesn't walk ahead of the other. They are to walk side by side.

My husband and I have different opinions on many different things. How do we come up with a solution to a problem or a question if we have different ideas or ways of doing things? It is challenging at times. We are still learning how to work together and come up with solutions together. This can be done by counseling together. This is how the whole church is run and decisions are made. This is how we can make decisions together and share the power within our marriage. Respect and love are key to counseling together. Listening and opening your mind to your spouses ideas. If the Spirit is invited, there will be guidance given. With this guidance, the couple can be unified and come to an agreement or solution together. Everyone will get to wear their pants.


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Two Become One

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Intimacy

Sexual intimacy within marriage is a gift and blessing from Heavenly Father. It has great potential to bring us happiness as a couple. Outside of marriage it is harmful and has negative consequences, while within the bonds of marriage it has great power to bring the couple closer together, increase their joy, bring children into their lives, teach communication, teach selflessness, etc. It allows us to discover one another. Through sexual relations, husband and wife can literally be "one flesh". They can become like God and procreate.

Intimacy doesn't always come easy to couples. It can be a topic of frustration and contention. It doesn't have to be and shouldn't be. It takes patience, selflessness and possibly outside help, but I believe that couples can have a fulfilling sexual relationship. I believe that one reason Heavenly Father has given us intimacy it to learn to work together and become more selfless.

 Fidelity

Fidelity is crucial to the marital relationship. Satan does all he can to cause unfaithfulness in a marriage. This can range from putting hobbies as a higher priority than your spouse to sexual infidelity. Being unfaithful isn't just having sexual relations with someone else. It can be fantasizing about someone, becoming too friendly with someone of the opposite sex, sending personal texts and emails, etc. There is a quote that I heard this week: "The grass is greener on the other side of the fence you water." How true this is. We need to water the grass on our side of the fence and our side of the fence only. President Ezra Taft Benson said, “What does it mean to love someone with all your heart? It means to love with all your emotional feelings and with all your devotion.^"  

"Charity Never Faileth"

"Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 

doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things." (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

I feel like this is the pinnacle of a successful marriage. Most all of our marital problems can be solved if we have charity. It is the pure love of Christ. If we truly see someone through the eyes of Christ, we will have patience with their flaws. We will have the desire to serve them, listen to them and help meet their needs and desires. We would do anything for them just as Christ has done for us. Charity does not just happen. It is something that we must strive for and ask the Lord to bless us with. We cannot get it on our own. We must beseech the Lord and ask Him to qualify us for this heavenly gift.

 

When I think about loving and being kind to my husband no matter what instead of focusing on his faults, it seems so easy and I want to do just that. Moments of weakness come though and the natural woman in me chooses to focus in on his faults. This definitely reflects my flaws. The last week I have been asking the Lord for charity. The word "charity" has constantly been on my mind. I have seen a change start to happen. I have seen growth. I am becoming more patient, more loving, less finger pointing and nagging. I think of Christ more.

He loves us so much. He doesn't remind us of our faults. He doesn't focus on our flaws, weaknesses and mistakes. Instead He has hope and belief in us. His arms are always stretched open waiting to receive us. He loves us. We too can practice this kind of love.

https://www.lds.org/media-library/images/category/artwork-of-jesus-christ?lang=eng&start=81&end=120&order=

Consecrate Your Performance

I like to run. I think about it and plan for it: what to wear, what to use as fuel, where to run, how far, etc. Sometimes I stress and get anxiety about my long runs. I put a lot of time into running, not only physically, but mentally as well. Do I put the same planning, thoughts and efforts into my marriage? Do I consecrate myself to it? When we are dedicated to something, we put in a lot of time, thought and effort. There are times in my marriage that I get in the flow of things and I don't put in much effort. I get comfortable. I'm not as consecrated. This is when improvement and progress do not happen. When improvement and progress don't happen, we usually digress. When I don't keep running, I lose ground and can't run as far. We need to always be dedicated to our marriage and spouse. Spending just a few more moments together each day can make a difference. Unwinding together at the end of the day can bring you together and help to unify you. My husband and I are different. He is more a morning person and I am more a night person. Because of our conflicting schedules, there are times when we don't hardly talk to each other for a week. By the weekend, we feel as though we are just "roomies" instead of husband and wife. The past week, we have tried to consecrate our time to each other. We spend 20 minutes together at the end of the day talking about what ever we feel is needed. I cannot believe the difference this is making in our marriage. It is blessing our lives. I am learning more about my husband and his dreams and goals. I am feeling more unified with him.

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