One Big Happy Family?

Blending families can be hard. When two people come together in marriage, usually they bring their family with them. They bring traditions, rules and beliefs. They bring relationships. So do you. How do you mesh it all together without it becoming something that looks like yucky brown Play-Doh? We know that mixing all the colors never really turns out great. But, multiple colors can be used to create something new, beautiful and artistic.

It is important for couples to talk about their family of origin's rules, traditions and beliefs. This helps create an understanding. Talk about what things you want to keep in your new family unit and what ones you are willing to sacrifice or not keep. It is important to put your new family first and make it be what you want it to be.

The word "in-laws" often brings a negative feeling for many people. We hear negative things from friends, the media and possibly we hear it from ourselves. I think this is kind of sad. I know that it can be hard to blend families, but I don't think that family should bring negative thoughts and feelings to us. I'm not saying that you have to be best friends with you in-laws, a little space can be good, but I think there always needs to be respect for others, especially family. There needs to be kindness.

"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." (Genesis 2:24). We learn from this scripture that once we marry, our spouse and posterity becomes number one. It is great to keep a positive and healthy relationship with our parents, but they do not come first. They don't need to know everything or be involved in every aspect of your marriage. Parents should give counsel and guidance to their adult children when it is sought. They need to respect their children and let them nourish and enrich their own marriages. 

I am blessed to not only have a cordial and respectful relationship with my in-laws, but I truly love them and feel that they are my family. Much of this is due to their welcome, loving arms. I chose from the beginning to love them for who they are. Are we one big happy family? YES. We have chosen to be.